In My Head
by CrazyLabRat
Summary: Why is it that something so small as a song can change everything you know? Ask Greg... COMPLETE


It all started with a song. Something so small should not be able to wreak such havoc upon my brain, or my life. But it did then and it still does, even now. Perhaps I should start off by saying that I have absolutely no complaints, so please don't get the wrong impression here. I just think that it's so very funny now that I look back at it. Some guy, singing a pointless song that I would have never wasted my time on to begin with, changed my entire life.

Sara, a good friend of mine had just bought this new cd. She wanted to try and wear this one song right off the disk I guess, because she played it nonstop for something like a week and a half. By the end of the third day, I was mumbling it under my breath. Every time I realized it was happening, I'd shake my head and try to focus on good music.

But it wouldn't work. It had been seeded there and in those short few days it had grown to colossal proportions in my head. No pun intended. It was no use. She had poisoned my mind and now I had to deal with the consequences. I even caught myself humming it in class for god sakes. So not cool. The worst part was that every time I heard it or thought about it, I immediately thought of him. Because he was always there too, hell, he almost never left my mind. It didn't matter that I knew I had no chance. It'd never happen.

Anyways, back to the point of it all. I was supposed to attend this party…

~~Flashback~~

"What exactly is the point of my even going to this stupid party?" I was tired, and admittedly a little cranky but really, I had the right to be. My supposed best friend had decided to wake me from a well-deserved rest after classes. Why, you ask?

"You have to go, you're like the spokesperson or the poster child for it, Greg. No other guy on Campus is as open about their sexuality as you are… It'll be like a slap in the face if you don't show." All because of some Gay pride party. Now, just to let you know, I'm not gay by any means. Don't get me wrong; I'm not straight either. I just like to… keep my options open as it were. I've only dated a grand total of two guys, but those ended pretty quickly. Like less then a month, quickly.

That tends to happen when a guy doesn't put out on the first date like some little slut, I guess. Anyway, I'm very picky about the guys I pursue. Yes, I said pursue. That's why I'm some sort of icon here, I guess. I'm Bi and very open about it. If I like a guy, and I think I might have some sort of shot, I take it. I flirt a little bit, and if he seems receptive, I ask him out.

Though to be honest, there's really only one guy that has my attention, right now. Sure there was plenty of eye candy on both sides of the fence at this school, but this guy was just fucking gorgeous. Smart, too. And kind. And funny. He's everything that I desire in any potential partner, really. He was a southern boy too. It wasn't terribly obvious unless you spoke with him at length. Every once in a while this low drawl sneaks out, and I swear it is the sexiest thing ever.

Oops… I stopped paying attention to Sara. Should probably say something, huh? "I never asked for that. Never even bothered to go to any of your meetings, either." She brought her hands to her hips and started tapping her foot impatiently. "Gregory Hojem Sanders, you are going to this party, and you are going to like it. Do you hear me?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it; she just looked so much like my mom. She playfully cuffed me upside the head while I caught my breath. "Fine, I'll show. But the second I'm bored, I'm out of there. History. Got it?" That seemed to appease her, because she smiled and started for the door. Stopping just as she reached it, she glanced over her shoulder and shot back. "You wont be bored. Guaranteed. Just wear something nice, will you?"

I gave some noncommittal answer and went about finding said attire. I only had about an hour to get ready. So I did the whole shower, dress, and hair thing then finally looked into the mirror. An old black Manson tee shirt that clung to my arms and chest, and a pair of nice faded jeans. Yeah, I was set. I grabbed my dorm keys and locked up behind me on my way out.

The damn song invaded my mind yet again. I was humming it now. The party was being hosted at one of the sorority houses here on campus. So I didn't bother with my car. I could use the ten-minute walk, anyway. My thoughts drifted back towards my… crush? I guess that was the word. I wasn't in love with the guy. Wouldn't let myself fall for him. That would just be stupid, like REALLY stupid.

He's as straight and all American as they come. A Texas boy from a big family, and Quarterback for the schools varsity football team… But that's not why he got the scholarship for this place, No. He was on an academic scholarship. His grades were almost as high as mine. I sighed wistfully as I remembered our conversation earlier in class. We talk often. This is because he happens to be a friend of mine.

Not a particularly close one or anything. We just talk for a minute before and after the classes that we have together, it's really nice. We've never hung out otherwise though. I'm too chicken shit for that. I'd end up saying or doing something stupid. I just know it. I mean, he was one of the very few jocks who bothered to talk to me. Being Bi tends to scare them. I guess they think it might be contagious. Who knows? Still, he had asked once about some party his frat had been hosting.

My answer, of course, was a polite no. He hasn't offered again since. Not that I blame him. He's never brought up my orientation, either. Something I am grateful for. I just get the feeling that if he ever did, then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. And I can't allow that. I know I can't have him, but I have to be able to be near him at the very least. After all, a guy can fantasize, right? Which brings us back to the song, and to the house. I strode up the few short stairs of the porch and walked right in.

The music was a little loud and the place was pretty full. More so then I had been expecting. Red plastic cups were everywhere and I scanned the room for the keg. God, but I love college. I procured a cup of my own with very little trouble and went in search of my friends. I nodded to some people I knew as I walked around. There were a bunch of faces I recognized. Some surprised me, some didn't.

Finally, I found the brown locks I had been looking for. "Hey Sara. I gotta say, this is a hell of a lot better then I expected." She arched a brow and shook her head while I took a sip of beer. It wasn't my first choice in alcohol, but it was free. I couldn't complain. "There's going to be even more people in a while. This might end up being the biggest campus party of the year." I didn't doubt that, the parties had been pretty lame this year.

After talking with her for a while, I decided to make my way around the house. I am definitely what one would call a social butterfly. It got kind of old pretty quickly, though. The downside to parties like these is that people only come to them to try and hook up. That's really not me. I mean, I've had a couple of one-night stands, but I don't go looking for them. Nor do I come to these sorts of gatherings with that in mind.

Sadly, this means that I have had to turn down something like four guys already. Some people just don't like hearing no, either. That's the most troublesome part really. Thankfully, that hadn't become an issue thus far. I decided that wondering around didn't hold much appeal for me anymore and made my way to the living room. After a quick stop at the keg for another refill, of course… I was already on my fourth cup.

The couch was empty, as people were too busy dancing. That suited me just fine. I felt like playing one of my favorite games, anyway. People watching that is, in case you happened to be curious. I like to sit back and watch how everyone acts sometimes. You see some really odd/funny/fucked up things that way.

My attention was drawn to the front door as it opened. I had a clear view from where I was, and I am eternally glad I was sitting right then. Because I might have tripped or something equally stupid when I realized who was walking in… As it was, I almost choked on my beer. Why? Nick fucking Stokes! No way! I blinked and glanced down at my beer, thinking that maybe someone had drugged it. There was just no way that I was seeing this. But when I glanced back up, he was still there, and making a beeline for the keg, it seemed.

There was only one other reason you attended parties like these. They weren't Gay/Straight alliance parties, no. They were Pride parties. Did that mean? No. He couldn't be. I mean, I would have heard about it by now, right? But as I glanced around again, I noticed that quite a few other people were also staring at him. Interesting.

Apparently this would be the talk of the rest of the semester. I smiled while stealing sidelong glances of him and taking multiple sips out of my cup. He found his own by now, and was standing by the keg while sipping the harsh brown liquid, eyes on the dance floor. I got a little too comfortable then, I think. I had turned my head to watch him instead of trying to be inconspicuous.

My breath stuttered in my chest when our eyes met. He'd been about to take another sip, but seemed to think better of it and lowered the cup again. A full smile aimed in my direction. I blinked in surprise as he pushed his way through the crowd and made his way over.

My palms started to sweat when he took a seat next to me, far closer then I would have expected. "Hey Greggo. Enjoying the party?" I had to work to get my mouth open to respond. He was leaning pretty close so that he didn't have to yell, and I could smell his cologne. This was so awesome, yet so fucked up. "Yeah, it's better then I thought it'd be. What do you think?" I made a wide arch with my free hand, gesturing towards the chaos. His eyes never left mine, and he smiled again before responding.

"Best party I've been to in quite some time, actually. So, you don't dance?" The question caught me so off guard that an odd, confused expression flitted through my features. He chuckled and I would have been offended but fuck that was hot. "Not alone, no. I make enough of an ass out of myself as it is. I don't wanna gain the title of 'Loser' on top of it." He grinned and lifted his cup to his lips. "I see. Well, I'm sure you've had offers, right?"

It was my turn to chuckle while he gulped down a couple of mouthfuls. "Yeah, a few. But they weren't really my type so I turned them down." The way he looked at me right then made my stomach do a back flip. It was just so… intense. "Is that a fact?" There was that twang I was telling you about. Delicious, isn't it? "It is."

**_Come on._**

The first few beats should have given it away, but give me a break. I was a little preoccupied. Can you blame me, though? I mean really? He heard it first, actually. His eyes lit up in recognition and he set his cup down on a nearby table. "I like this song." I should have known what his next words were going to be, but I just never thought I'd hear them. By this point I was convinced I was still dreaming, especially when I heard his next words. "C'mon, G… Let's dance."

**_Everybody's looking for love. Oh. Oh._**

**_Ain't that the reason you're at this club? Oh. Oh._**

I was standing before I had time to even think about it. My body seemed to be on some sort of autopilot. The beat was pulsing through me, and honestly even if he hadn't asked; I would probably have gone to dance anyway. I kept a fair distance from him, not wanting it to be awkward. I was just glad we were dancing at all. That happy thought was murdered viciously a moment later.

Not two seconds on the dance floor and some boy toy twink was up behind him, trying to dry hump… I mean, cut in. I should have expected that, really. He is sex on legs, after all. Didn't stop me from frowning and doing something that I really had no right to do. ****

**_You ain't gonna find it dancing with him. No. Oh._**

**_I got a better solution for you, so... Oh. Oh._**

My hand, completely of its own accord, reached out and snagged one of Nick's belt loops. As I pulled him closer, I sent the blonde whore a death glare and mouthed 'beat it.' He didn't seem phased, just moved on to some other guy. The smug smile that touched my lips at my victory was short lived, though. When I realized a fatal flaw.

Well, could anyone really call the man a flaw? Hardly. Still, he was pressed tightly to my chest, held there by my arm, which was wrapped snugly around him. I stuttered as he stared up at me, and pulled my arm back. My face was flaming, and I knew it. "S…s-sorry." The smile he shot me then nearly blinded me. I blinked stupidly and moved to take a step back, but he followed.

**_Just leave with me now. Say the word and we'll go._**

**_I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes._**

"Where are you going, Greg? I thought you were going to dance with me…" The way he breathed the words directly into my ear made me shiver from head to toe. Something I knew he could feel, pressed against me as he was. My cheeks were still scarlet, but my mouth had a mind of its own. It must, seeing as it opened without my consent and all.

"Straight boys shouldn't tease." I bit my lip in a lame attempt to hold back a moan when he met my gaze. I'd never seen him blush before. I mean I'd imagined it, along with many other things, but I'd never seen it. Never expected to, either… But damn was it hot. Then, his lips parted and he uttered the two most erotic words I'd ever heard. "I'm not."

**_You'll see a side of love you've never known._**

**_I can see it going down, going down._**

I didn't have time to ask which part of my statement he was answering, the straight, or the teasing. Did it really matter? No. Because his arms slid to may waist and his hips started to sway to the beat. His eyes never left mine, though. What could I do? I started moving with him. My hands wandered a bit, one ended up on his shoulder while the other drifted to his hip. And all I could think about was how he moved. The way his hips swiveled and dipped. It was absolutely mesmerizing.

It was at this point that any form of control or higher thought process went right out the window. I moved the hand on his hip to the small of his back and pressed him even closer, molding our bodies together. I matched his rhythm easily, and sensuously ground against him. Delighting in his answering gasp. After all, what point was there in holding back any longer? I may not be a rocket scientist, but I knew when someone was showing interest.

**_In my head, I see you all over me._**

**_In my head, you fulfill my fantasy._**

I bent forward and let the tip of my nose brush along his neck until I reached his ear. "Tell me to stop, Nick…" My actions belied my words, though. My hips continued to roll into his, while my hands held him possessively. We moved in sync, our lower halves meeting every few seconds, his fingers flexing as he held me just a little tighter. I couldn't help it; I traced the shell of his ear with my tongue and sighed lightly. "Tell me to stop… If you don't tell me now, I don't think I'll be able to later."

I moved the hand I'd had on his lower back down then up, under his shirt, groaning at how good it felt to touch his skin. He turned his head slightly, so that our cheeks ended up pressed together and is warm breath ghosted over my neck. Damn that was nice. "No… Don't… Don't stop. Fuck… Please, Greg…"

**_You'll be screaming out._**

**_In my head, it's going down._**

It was then that my brain resumed functioning again, if only for the sake of some modesty. "I think we should go some place a little more private, don't you?" The stare that I received only confirmed my statement. With a small grin, I took his hand in mine and led him through the crowd and out the door into the slightly cool night. One would think that it might help to clear our heads a bit, even cool us down. But the heated stares between us didn't diminish in the slightest.

He laced our fingers together, refusing to let go of my hand, and I couldn't suppress my grin. I led him back the way I had come, heading directly for my dorm room. Thank god I didn't have to share it. No pesky room mates to worry about. Even though it really was a very short walk, it seemed to take forever. I couldn't get there fast enough.

**_In my head, it's going down._**

**_In my head. Yeah. In my head. Oh yeah._**

My cell phone rang a couple of times, and I knew who it probably was. I didn't really care about that right now, though. I pulled out my cell and turned it off. I wasn't going to be making any calls tonight if I had any say in the matter. Finally after eons, we reached my building. I led him up the stairs and down the hall until my door was in sight.

And then we were inside, though I can't quite remember how. The door was closed with my back firmly pressed against it. He was trembling lightly. I knew because his whole body was pressed into mine, while his lips and mine finally met. Groaning, I slipped my hand into his hair, to keep him close and traced his bottom lip with my tongue.

**_Some dudes know all the right things to say._**

**_When it comes down to it, it's all just game._**

His gasp was so very enticing, and I just had to taste him. As our tongues met and played, I moaned. Gods but he could kiss. A whine escaped my lips when he lured my tongue into his mouth and gently suckled on the very tip. Shirts went flying and pants were undone sometime later. It wasn't until I was pressing him into the mattress that he spoke. Neither of us had said a word since we'd left. "Greg, I… I've never… Um, I mean, I-I have, but not with… Not with… I don't know what to do…"

I quieted him with slow, languid kiss. Attempting to calm him, for he'd gotten tense in these past few minutes. It wouldn't do to have him nervous, not when I would make sure he'd have the ride of his life. Gently nipping at his bottom lip, I pulled back just enough to whisper. "It's okay, Nicky. I do… I'll take care of you, all right? I promise." He shivered harshly but nodded up at me regardless. I relieved both of us of the last vestiges of our clothing and took a moment to admire just how beautiful he was. Splayed across my bed sheets panting and flushed with a light sheen of sweat over his entire upper body.

**_Instead of talking let me demonstrate. Yeah._**

**_Get down to business and skip foreplay._**

Then I was kissing him again, still trying to calm his nerves, I kept it slow and playful. My right hand drifted to the nightstand and procured the little clear bottle I kept there. Blindly, I flicked the top open and drenched my fingers before setting the bottle on the floor. All one handed, while I kept our lip lock. This was the part most newbie's worried about, and I didn't want to scare him. The first finger had me shaking with need. I wanted him now. Fuck, but I needed him. Quickly I worked in the second and third digits, moaning into his mouth as our hips fluidly slid and rocked together. It was the most wonderful teasing friction.

I don't know how long it took, I only knew that I was totally submerged in all things Nick. His taste, touch, and smell. The small sounds he made in the back of his throat. The way he looked in the soft light coming from the open window. I couldn't wait any longer. Too much… It was all too much. I slowly pulled out of the kiss and sat back on my heels, reaching for him. He was hot, and thick and pulsing in my hand… So hard. His back bowed nearly off the bed. Probably because I hadn't actually touched him yet, this was the first time.

**_Just leave with me now. Say the word and we'll go._**

**_I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes._**

"You have to relax now, Nicky. We're both going to have to try and be still at first, so just bear with me." He groaned out a broken 'yes', my hand still working him teasingly. I stared at his need in fascination. He practically shimmered from the lube, nearly knocking the breath right out of me. I swallowed and moved to straddle him, taking as deep a breath as I could manage. Then I closed my eyes and guided him in.

It had been quite some time since I'd felt the torturous burn. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like, in all honesty. It didn't hurt per say. Never did. Was just a little… weird. Nothing I couldn't handle, though. And I knew it would only get better. Pinning his hips to the bed, I gritted my teeth as I sank further onto him. He was grasping at my sides, moaning my name over and over again. That sculpted chest heaving and strong fingers twitching on my hips. I couldn't help but smile.

**_You'll see a side of love you've never known._**

**_I can see it going down, going down._**

And then he was all the way inside. Pulsing, throbbing, and glorious. My head bent of its own accord while I attempted to get my breathing under control. When I glanced up at him, his eyes were screwed shut, and he was biting on his bottom lip. His hips were jerking and twitching minutely. I knew he was trying very hard to do as I asked and it was so damn cute. Good boys should always be rewarded. No? I reached out and cupped the side of his face tenderly, waiting until he opened his eyes to speak.

"Move, Nicky." He surged up into me with a force I wasn't expecting. My toes curled as I threw my head back, a loud groan tumbling from my lips. Encouraged, he kept on with the brutal pace, making my head spin with the overload of sensation. "Yes, Nicky! Har-Harder!!! Please?!" Suddenly, I was on my back and his hands and lips were devouring me whole while he tried to give me what I needed. I wrapped my legs around him and attempted to match his rhythm while forcing him ever deeper. So damn good. Fuck.

**_In my head, I see you all over me._**

**_In my head, you fulfill my fantasy._**

And then I saw white. I know I screamed, I must have. Because he paused all movement and stared down at me with utter fear etched all over his face. I giggled breathlessly. "Don't stop… Please? You feel so fucking good Nicky. Do that again..." Experimentally, he thrust into me, aiming for the exact same spot. The tension in his face melted into a smug smile when I clutched at his back, begging for more.

Our bodies were gliding together easily, slick with sweat. I was on fire, my skin tingling and my heart pounding in my ears. And then I was lost. We weren't two people any more. We were one and the same. Sensations, sights, and sounds melding together until I couldn't stand it anymore.

**_You'll be screaming out._**

**_In my head, it's going down._**

My body quaked as his hand slipped in between us to toy with me. The next thing I knew, wave after crashing wave of utter bliss was flowing through me, from the top of my head to the tips of my still curling toes. I screamed out his name, and heard a quiet moan of my own from his lips in return. His hips rocked into me one last time, before stilling completely.

And then a new kind of heat filled me, all the way to the brim. I gently moved my hips, trying to milk his pleasure for as long as possible, even as exhausted as I was. His features, all scrunched up and glowing in his climax was the most erotic sight to have ever occurred in front of my eyes. I stared mesmerized, until his taught muscles went lax, and he collapsed on top of me.

**_In my head, it's going down._**

**_In my head. _**

I didn't mind, though. It was nice, his weight on top of me, his breath heaving while he trailed lazy kisses up my neck towards my lips. The kiss that followed was slow, and sweet, and so very lazy. It had my toes curling all over again. When we did finally pull apart, it was only to get into a more comfortable position.

It seemed Nick liked to cuddle. I couldn't stop the shit-eating grin from forming on my lips, nor could I contain my deep contented sigh. I don't know why he chose me, but I wasn't going to complain. I'm taking what I can get.

**_Break it down. Ay-oh. Come on. Ay-oh. Ay-oh. _**

**_You singing to me baby in my head right now. Ay-oh. Ay-oh. Come on._**

**_He'll be screaming out when it all goes down._**

The next morning, I awoke to cold sheets with no Nick in sight. I couldn't really say I was all that surprised. The man was straight, you know? Maybe he had simply wanted a quick experiment. Who knows? Maybe I'd gather the courage to ask him someday. When I stopped blushing at the sight of him, that is.

My heart sank, knowing that all those times before and after class were now gone. No more subtle flirting. No more Nick. II had known last night that this would probably be the end result, but that didn't mean it hurt any less when I was proven right. With a long resigned sigh, I rose from the bed and headed towards the bathroom for a shower.

**_Just leave with me now, Say the word and we'll go. We can go._**

**_I'll be your teacher. I'll show you the ropes._**

It wasn't until I was right outside the bathroom door that I realized the bathroom light was on, or that the door was closed. Upon further inspection, it was quite clear that the sound of running water could be easily heard through the door. But that wasn't possible.

Why? Because that would mean that he was still here. That he hadn't just left. That he didn't plan to just run away. My heart pounded as I lifted my hand towards the doorknob, unsure of how to proceed.

**_You'll see a side of love you've never known._**

**_I can see it going down, going down._**

Slowly, ever so slowly, I cracked the door open. Hoping to all gods in heaven that it wouldn't squeak. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't just imagining things. That I wasn't still asleep, and dreaming this whole thing up.

Because that seemed to be the only explanation for what I found… There, standing in my shower, soaping himself up and humming happily under the water, was Nick. Beautiful, funny, sweet, completely naked Nick.

**_In my head, I see you all over me._**

**_In my head, you fulfill my fantasy._**

My jaw dropped as I took the time to stare at him freely. He really was the most handsome thing on two legs. It almost wasn't fair. If I wasn't so damn attracted to him, I might actually be a little jealous. The way his back muscles rippled and flexed had my mouth watering all over again.

I knew I probably looked like an idiot; standing there in the doorway, jaw on the floor and hard as a rock, with what I knew to be a very dumb expression all over my face. I found that I really couldn't bring myself to care, though. Not with this view.

**_You'll be screaming out._**

**_In my head, it's going down._**

**_In my head, it's going down._**

The small light humming that I'd heard before suddenly escalated in volume. It was a tune I recognized, but I couldn't quite place it. Hey, give me a break; I haven't had my coffee yet.

He was shampooing his hair now, moving side to side in subtle dancing to the tune in his head. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over every inch of succulent flesh.

**_In my head, I see you all over me. _**

**_In my head, you fulfill my fantasy._**

Then, he was rinsing his hair and the water cascaded down over his face, bringing the white foam from the shampoo gliding down over him along with it. Jesus Christ! He should be doing some sort of modeling. I just know it. With a face and a body like that?

He could make millions. Easy. I don't know when I let go of the door, but I must have, because I wasn't holding it any more and a fairly loud thud echoed around the room. It had slid shut.

**_You'll be screaming out._**

**_In my head, it's going down._**

Nicky, the wonder that he is, took that particular moment to begin lightly singing the words to the song he'd been humming, and my eyes widened in slight shock. Really, I was more pleased then anything. That damn song was going to drive me crazy, and make me so very hard every time I heard it now.

All I'd end up thinking about would be him. His body, his moans, his lips… But I don't think he minded all that much. Not if the way he extended his arm to me, or the sensual look he shot me, were any indications… I think he liked it just fine. Without another moment's hesitation, I pushed open the shower door. Shower sex was always fun, right? Right.

**_In my head, it's going down._**

**_In my head._******


End file.
